ok, so I have this really bad habit of not really updating my blog, even though I actually have quite a bit to blog about. But since it's the end of IAP, I'm gonna drag myself to actually write something on here and make this blog semi-respectable, right? =P. Anyways, IAP has been an absolute blast, and it's kinda depressing how it's already Reg Day. Meaning that classes start tomorrow.

I wish IAP was longer - or rather, I wish that it didn't pass by so quickly. But there's no point in really dwelling on that point. I had a hell of an awesome time during January and got pretty well rested. No stress. No knots in my back. No regrets. Against my conscious will, I will say that I'm starting to like it here. Maybe that's what IAP is for. After you burn out during fall semester and come away from it saying "fuck," you return to campus in January and DON'T burn out and come away saying "damn i wish IAP was longer." I guess I didn't really do anything astonishingly amazing during IAP - mostly just sat around and read orgo, went to fencing class, hung out with people, and watched movies. hahah a TON of movies.

Oh, and also went on the Burton-Conner ski trip. It was SO awesome. I love skiing. I actually wasn't gonna go at first, but then got convinced to go by many people (thanks!)It was my first time so I spent the entire morning taking lessons on the bunny slope, which, in retrospect, was prolly just a waste of time since half the time of the lessons was spent in waiting for the rest of class to either get down the slope or go back up the tow rope. After lunch though, I went on the green slope several times - with interesting results. The first time I fell down on a turn which happened to go into what both Alex and John claim was a "slight slope." Slight slope, my ass. I couldn't get back up because I was on the slope, and everytime I tried to get back up on the slope, I'd roll over onto my other side. So it was like this continuous tumbling/sliding motion which must have looked pretty amusing to the people going overhead on the ski lift. hehe anyways, I tried it again and did way better, but couldn't really stop. The ski instructor taught us this weird method in which you splay both your skis and knees inward. Somehow it never really worked for me on the real slope, and I just ended up falling flat on my face. woohoo! The only kind of stop I could manage to do was the hockey stop, which worked miraculously better. It was kinda amusing yet depressing at the same time to fall down and see little 3 year olds zoom by you on their skis, WITHOUT any poles *shakes head*.

Since we had to be back at the bus by three pm, I decided to go for at least one turn on a blue slope before I left - with, once again, interesting results. It was DAMN icy on the upper half of the blue slope, and I was going way too fast for my own comfort and I had no idea how to stop on the icy surface, so I decided to fall down. hehe. It worked! But holy shit, what an AWESOME ride - I actually only fell that one time on the blue slope, yay! I am definitely going on that trip next year - and it only cost $20 too, cuz the dorm reimburses you from the dorm fund that's included in the tuition - swwweeet.

and thus ends IAP. damn, there are so many things about IAP that I'm gonna miss like crazy.

Surprisingly, IAP has been pretty fun so far. It's a pretty good mix of productivity (yay for orgo and essays!) and fun (hanging out and tang yuan and fencing and movies!) at the same time.

Movies. hahah oh man. I've watched a movie (or two) like almost every single night and I've only managed to stay awake the entire time for like two of them (Platoon, Falling Down), despite Alex's efforts to constantly wave his hand in front of my face like every 5 seconds to make sure that I was awake =P.

Last night Mike and I went to go pick up Sam from the airport (he came back from Florida from crew camp). I gotta say, we had quite an adventure getting to the airport but it was fun! lol. The main route was blocked off so Mike went on an alternate route - which was also jammed up...at like 12:15 in the morning! haha Mike was like "geez this is the worst luck getting to the airport ever." hehe. So eventually he turned on his GPS system and it directed us to Logan - those things are pretty spiffy, it even talks to you! If only you could change the voice and make it like Sean Connery or Jay Leno's voice or something. Anyways, there was the ghettoest thing at the airport. To get from the parking lot to the terminal, you had to walk a distance....but the distance wasn't indoors or outdoors. Instead, there was this ghetto tent-passageway dealie that connected to a really nice automatic door. lol, oh the irony. Found Sam at the baggage claim covered with bug bites (he must had like a billion on his arms) and blisters on his hands, but safe and sound and with a nice Florida tan =).

Anyways, it's a really nice day outside. I guess we southerners lucked out, cuz last year at this time it was already supposed to be in the negative temperatures =P. I want to go over to Boston and take walk in the Fens one day. But not in the dark though. sketchy place then. hahaha apparently one time some of the brothers from Sigma Nu were playing capture the flag with water balloons in the Fens and ended up having to fight off some random homeless guy..hehehe.

getting back to work now, prolly gonna go for a walk later.

Lately, I find that I've been wondering about blog format. I used to just blog whatever first came to mind, usually a blurb about whatever kind of day I had and whatever funny/weird/interesting happened that day. I was actually looking back on my posts from senior year around October - December and it struck me as funny that I actually had that much nothingness to say.

So why do we blog anyways? I never quite figured that out, especially seeing how I've tried to stop blogging several times and it never worked (hey, it's like trying to quit smoking, except I don't smoke. In the end, I think it boils down to comments. We are human. We like attention. Therefore, if we put out such a blatant display of our own ideas to the public, it must mean that we crave attention right? Why else did xangas come attached with commenting functions? Why else did all these message boards pop up on blogs? And why else do we have all these tracking functions that can keep track of who comes to visit my blog, where they're from, how long they were on the website, etc?

I mean, I'll admit it, I like attention, and I've long since come to the conclusion that the only reason I actually write in my blog is because of that. Which doesn't really bother me too much anyways, since that is my nature. Why else did yall think that I'm so social around the dorm and other places? Ok, well it's also because I just talk a lot and seem to like talking to people and finding out all about them and making my own analyses of these people as well.

But that's not entirely true. I actually don't really like talking all that much. I like to talk, but I like to listen more, because what do I learn from you if I do all the talking? It ticks me off (a lot, even though I never show it) when I'm talking to people, and I end up being the one who has to force the conversation on. It's not hard for me to do so, but it annoys me to hell. I'm NOT that interesting to talk to, and I get tired of hearing myself talk as well. I may seem loud and rash and social on the outside, but in reality, I can be pretty antisocial and not give a damn about it. If I choose to lock myself in my room and read and not talk to people, I will do it.

The thing is....I don't understand when I became that way. I remember that I used to be really shy and not talk to anyone. Then I became really social. And now I'm starting to become antisocial. I can't explain it, but sometimes now I feel that it doesn't really matter to me if I don't talk to people all the time. Yet, unless you know me well, you'll probably never see that side of me.

I don't know what it is. I'm obviously not depressed right now, because I know what depression feels like. I feel like I'm trapped inside something, or maybe something is trapped inside of me. But I'm not worried. I actually just feel a sense of mild amusement. What is it? What is it that I can't see? Who am I? What determines my being? Why does it matter?

geez. I told you I was a messed-up kid.

Inspired by Tony (blogs.mit.edu/cappaert), I have decided that I'm gonna try to type with correct punctuation. For the while being, at least.

I'm finally back in Boston. It was kinda depressing leaving Houston - plus on the plane, I was supposed to have a window seat, but his really really BIG scary-looking guy took my seat right before I got there. Seeing as how he was about twice my height and probably about 2.5 times my weight, I decided not to argue and just stay in the middle seat. Bummer. Anyways, the guy on my other side was pretty nice. He's a freshman at Dartmouth and apparently planes don't fly to New Hampshire or something. Oh yea, Cynthia and a BUTTLOAD of HARVARD people were all on my flight too.

So before I had left Houston, my parents had told me about 20 times to TAKE A TAXI and don't take the subway. Problem is, taking a taxi is about $29.00 more expensive than taking the subway. I am asian, therefore I am cheap (but only when buying stuff for myself. I spend a lot of money buying stuff on other people. Ironic, isn't it?)Lesson #1 of the day: listen to your parents' advice. I ended up dragging a 43 lb. suitcase up and down steps and escalators and through about three different subways. Definitely not fun at all, especailly if you have a heavy backpack and a 6 lb. violin case to drag along too.

Anyways, everything seemed to go pretty well, until I got off the stop at Kendall/MIT. I had trouble going through the turnstile with my luggage, backpack, violin, and whatnot, and this weird guy behind me was laughing at me. I ended up being stuck with him all the way up the escalator, and then he wouldn't shut up. So I stood there talking to this really odd guy for like 20 minutes or so outside of Kendall station just cuz I didn't want to be rude. Lesson #2 of the day: it IS ok to be rude to sketchy strangers. He kept talking and going on and on about how he likes to date "aggressive chinese women" (WTF??!!). And meanwhile I was just standing there trying to be polite and make polite answers. Bad idea. He then tried to ask me to dinner, whereas I immediately said that I had to eat dinner with my roommate. (haha afterwards, Mavis said that I should have made something up and said that I was eating dinner with a "boyfriend.") Then he freaking gave me his phone number. And not just ONE phone number, but TWO of them. At this point, I was on the verge of just grabbing my luggage and bolting away, but once again, I didn't want to be rude. Ok, this guy is like 28. How dodgy is that???

On a different note, fencing class has been really fun so far. It REALLY works you out, and now I'm all sore. We haven't used the weapons yet, but I'm looking forward to that. The rest of the time, I've just been sitting around and reading and getting groceries. It's strange - I thought that once IAP came, I'd be all jumping around and doing a million times and one, but that hasn't happened. For some reason, I don't have any motivation to be openly social right now. I mean, I still am social, but I no longer have the driving urge to run all over Conner-side and meet different people. Man, I don't even go down the hallway anymore. I don't even go up to Conner 4! Well...ok, I've only been here like two days, so that may be part of the reason I haven't really done anything yet. Although today I actually practiced piano, Mavis taught Kenny how to make scrambled eggs, and then we watched THE GODFATHER! What an awesome movie.

I think there was more that I wanted to write today but I'm tired and sore right so I'm going to bed.

BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL

http://msn.foxsports.com/story/3285586

what a GREAT start to 2005!!!!!

TEXAS LONGHORNS!!!!!!!!!