omg....harvard's final exams aren't until AFTER winter break..can u just imagine how terrible your break would be?????

damn it...i feel so bored. and i know just what i need to rid myself of this rather annoying state of ennui. unfortunately, i don't exactly have the means to do it within one week. i've been needing it for a long time

on a different note, i've become quite obssessed with war movies lately. specifically those dealing with El Segundo Guerra Mundial and La Guerra de Vietnam. i don't think i need to translate what those mean. but seriously, i started off watching "we were soldiers" - that was a GOOD movie...it caters very precisely to what the general public likes these days - a very nostalgically shot film that reveals more than just the war itself, but also the feelings that individuals felt themselves, with a bit of romance mixed in here and there..oh ok not really romance, but stuff u wouldn't find in a regular war movie. so yes, it was a very good movie (4 academy awards??) and very sad too. but then i watched "platoon"...it was shot in 1986, but it is probably the best movie i have ever seen so far...more than just dealing with the vietnam war, i think this movie really cuts deep into the real conflict in this particular war - the main conflict wasn't the US vs. the VC, but i think it is more the conflicts and strains inbetween the seperate squads and platoons themselves...definitely have to watch that movie again

"Cada vez que me levanto
y veo que a mi lado estás y me siento aniquilado
Me siento aniquilado aniquilado si no estás
Tu controlas toda mi verdad y todo lo que está de más
Tus ojos me llevan lentamente al sol
Y tu boca me habla del amor y el corazón
Tu piel tiene el color de un rojo atardecer
Y es por ti...
Que late mi corazón
Y es por ti...
Que brillan mis ojos hoy
Y es por ti...
Que he vuelto a hablar de amor
Y es por ti...
Que calma mi dolor
Y cada vez que yo te busco
Y no te puedo aún hallar
Me siento un vagabundo
Perdido por el mundo
Desordenado si no estás
Como mueves tú mi felicidad
Y todo lo que está de más
Tus ojos me llevan lentamente al sol
Y tu boca me habla del amor y el corazón
Tu piel tiene el color de un rojo atardecer
Y es por ti...
Que late mi corazón
Y es por ti...
Que he vuelto a hablar de amor
Y es por ti...
Que brillan mis ojos hoy
Y es por ti...
Que calma mi dolor "

- Es Por Ti - Juanes

oh how lovely...30 minutes now and they're still talking bad about me

yawn

hey is anyone actually reading this blog??..email me ciaconna74@yahoo.com and lemme know, per favore....grazie

caffeinated peppermints!!..woohoo!!!

man..who woulda thought that going back to church again for the first time in a year would be so fun??.so here's what happen. i figure u guys would like to know concrete events going on in my life instead of just random thoughts every once in a while. ok..so first on sunday i go to 9am mass, blah blah blah, same old same old..then after mass benny and agnes almost literally forced me to play violin for the xmas eve program and the mass. i agreed, not as if i really had a choice. anyways, tuesday my dad takes me to church at 3:30 pm, we get there before anyone else does. i sit around until 3:45 waiting for the other violins to show up. steven and his little brother get to church same time benny and agnes do, janice and albert show up a little after that, mabel and christina never showed up..everyone's all dressed up except for me, who's wearing soccer slides and cargos..wwoooppss..hey well i did bring a change of clothes..then comes the fun part.we go into the chapel to rehearse for the pre program..OMG the little kids were sooo cute!!.they had to do a xmas play, but they ALL talked in chinese!!!..aahh it was so cute, all these little kids running around on the stage..>)..finally got through rehearsal at 4:45, the program started at 5pm. of course, there was almost no one there to watch it cuz mass didn't start until 6...so people started showing up around 5:30, when the play was almost done, then the little kids started to get nervous and mess up.^_^.still cute anyways..oo and they gave us all candles too!!!..i wonder which crazy person thought up that idea..who in the world is gonna trust a bunch of 5-8 year olds with LIT candles???..luckily nothing happened..then mass started at 6..it was freezing cold in the chapel!!!...janice and me were shivering like crazy the whole time, we could barely hold our violins..speaking of violins..we had to play during mass too...it was hilarious! the violins didn't have half the service music, so we had to wing it half the time..somehow we made it thru..but what was really funnie was during peace...since the mass was done half chinese/half english, the peace part was in chinese..i guess they do it differently during chinese mass, cuz instead of the piano playing the music, everyone sings "pin an, pin an" in chinese instead, to a TOTALLY different tune...in the middle of it ( i guess agnes didn't know or sumthing), agnes starts to play the peace song from english mass..hahah it soudned sooo funnie!!...even people not in the pews were laughing too...everything went well tho...after mass first thing i did was change back into my khakis..there's no way i was gonna be spending the rest of the nite freezing my butt off in a skirt. we had our church dinner then, that was fun,getting to spend time with the rest of the youth group...we spent all of dinner fighting over dessert and throwing chocolate at each other.haha what a waste of good chocolate..oo yes, and we played "jedi master" with the plastic shepherd staffs too...trust me, we discovered a lot of useful things to do with the staffs.. so that was about it. pretty fun, i wish i'd gotten to talk to some of the college ppl tho, they don't come back very often..whew that was a lot.gotta go eat now..hope all u guys have a great new years!

"I look up in the sky tonight and see the beautiful stars, I close my eyes really tight and wonder where u are, I dream a dream of u and me and wish that it was true, I say a prayer and hope destiny will bring together me and you"
- janie's blog

man..this totally sums up everything ,doesn't it?..>)...i think that's one of what my problems are....i always go for the "unattainable" guys..LOL...either too young, or in this case, too old..(ok, not THAT old...eww,,that would be kinda sick)...hahah he's really smart tho!!!..electrical enginering major (double E)...u gotta be pretty damn smart to do that kind of major..too bad i never got a chance to talk to him...^_^

damn it...georgetown went down to 24..on the other hand, notre dame is now 18, rice and hopkins are tied at 15, and harvard's not looking so bad after all after my dad finally told me that it wasn't one of those study study study schools...it's just that there's really not that much of a chance for me to get in...now that i think about it, harvard DOES sound really good...it's #2 in the nation, great pre-law program, one of the best musical centers available, and with tons and tons of diversity..now that sounds like something i would like..strange tho, i always thought harvard was one of those snotty schools...guess not


1. Princeton University (NJ)
2. Harvard University (MA)
Yale University (CT)
4. California Institute of Technology
Duke University (NC)
Massachusetts Inst. of Technology
Stanford University (CA)
University of Pennsylvania
9. Dartmouth College (NH)
10. Columbia University (NY)
Northwestern University (IL)
12. University of Chicago
Washington University in St. Louis
14. Cornell University (NY)
15. Johns Hopkins University (MD)
Rice University (TX)
17. Brown University (RI)
18. Emory University (GA)
University of Notre Dame (IN)
20. University of California – Berkeley *
21. Carnegie Mellon University (PA)
Vanderbilt University (TN)
23. University of Virginia *
24. Georgetown University (DC)
25. Univ. of California – Los Angeles *
University of Michigan – Ann Arbor *
Wake Forest University (NC)
28. Tufts University (MA)
U. of North Carolina – Chapel Hill *
30. College of William and Mary (VA)*
31. Brandeis University (MA)
Univ. of California – San Diego *
Univ. of Southern California
Univ. of Wisconsin – Madison *
35. New York University
36. University of Rochester (NY)
37. Case Western Reserve Univ. (OH)
38. Georgia Institute of Technology *
U. of Illinois – Urbana-Champaign *
40. Boston College
Lehigh University (PA)
Yeshiva University (NY)
43. Tulane University (LA)
University of California – Davis *
45. Pennsylvania State U. – University Park *
University of California – Irvine *
47. Pepperdine University (CA)
Rensselaer Polytechnic Inst. (NY)
Univ. of California – Santa Barbara *
University of Texas – Austin *
University of Washington *

* Which Tragic Shakespearean Heroin are You? *
brought to you by Quizilla

can u guys tell that i'm going a little over board with all these quizzes??.hehehehehe

u ever get that feeling where u feel like ur being used, and that's the only thing that ur good for?

i think i do...mebbe i'm too naive, or mebbe i'm too nice, but i've noticed that people always come to me for help, esp. in schoolwork and stuff...not that i mind, on the contrary, i actually do enjoy helping yall...PLEASE come feel free to ask me for help whenever u need it.
but lately i'm finally starting to notice....it's as if that's all i'm ever good for...other times, when i'm not needed, i guess i kinda get the feeling that i get totally blown off...like i really don't hang out with a lot of people as some people will have probably noticed....and then others are only supernice to me when they do actually need help, and then at other times, when help is not needed, i'm basically ignored and thrown in the back..like i'm not "cool" enough to be hanging out with them..
perhaps i'm wrong..perhaps these people really don't mean to do that, but i've gotten too suspicious lately..i honesetly don't know what's happening, am i just imagining all this or what?why have i become so distanced from others? or are others distancing themselves from me?

great. now it sounds like i'm whining. which i really am not, i really don't care that much..but i thought it'd just be better to get this out in the open and solved before going back to school cuz i'm seeing this pattern way too often

my mom is definitely an expert at ruining a perfectly good day of vacation...her record?..about 5 seconds

What Drink Are You?

Where Did Your Soul Originate?
brought to you by Quizilla

Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

wow. i just reread what i last posted ...*tsk tsk*..i really shouldn't be so bitter should i?. i think i wasn't feeling well when i read that

anyway. time to catch up on blogging. i literally never have time to go online anymore. what am i supposed to write about anyways that's worth reading? i suppose people just happen to like reading random ramblings. either way, perdóname mucho if u have been coming to this blog and not seeing anything new. sorrie i can't help it. if i don't have time to practice, i obviously don't have time to go online either.

it doesn't help much either that this weekend i have more homework than all of thanksgiving break combined. bloody school. i seriously am worried about english..yes, i can analyze, but 40 minutes? HAH! as if....u guys already know how much time i spend on my papers.. 40 minutes...grrr...

speaking of practicing, today was houston young artists prelims. i abhor that competition con un pasión grande. all the people there (shu-hao pao in particular) are all jaded hypocrites who think that they know everything there is to know about music. and then, of course, the competition itself is all based on politics. after all, since they want "diversity in the world of music", they're naturally gonna limit the amount of each type of instruments that can get in. doesn't help much that about a million pianos always enter. so basically, if you play some obscure instrument like the west african ancient yoruba marimba, you are probably gonna make it in!! because who the hell plays the west african ancient yoruba marimba!!!...oh dear i'm being bitter again. but i'm serious, all competitions are like this, and it's worse when it deals with music. no wonder mr rubin and mr hester hate competitions so much. i sure can't blame them.

same thing applies when talking about just competition in general. in school, in everyday life. in my class, especially, competition has risen to such a fierce level that people who want to spend their lifetime selling apartments (*cough*sid*cough*) are taking AP classes like chemistry just for the GPA credit. what's worse is that because of this, you can't take the classes that you actually WANT to take. and then people always go up to you "what'd you get? what'd you get? what'd you get?" and then they keep pestering you until u finally tell them, and if they scored higher, they run around celebrating as if it's graduation day. damn u people who do that. u know, people aren't always perfect.

anwyas..i have work to do.blog later.

u know what, i am fucking sick of always being the one overlooked..always the one who can never satisfy others...always being the one who is regarded as a fucking piece of filth....as if i don't even try. well i tell u what, hell i try..i work my ass off in trying. i get sick for two weeks straight due to sleep deprivation from all the fucking trying. and all that happens is that not even one word of praise comes to me for all the trying that i do. ..how i have survived so long, i don't know. all this kind of discouragement toward a child is inevitably a direct path toward depression and eventually suicide. it's not my fault that my mom can never see any good in me. it's not my fault that she can only concentrate all her fucking efforts on her fucking little crown jewel, otherwise known as my brother. it's not my fault that i'm not fucking antisocial like him, which is apparently what she prefers. perhaps a deadly disease will strike me dead before i go off to college so that she can then save thousands of dollars per year and use that on my brother instead. perhaps that is the only way i can satisfy her.