happy chinese new year! chen just made this huge feast for all of us and i'm stuffed, but man it was good food. and i'm gonna miss the 06's and 07's a LOT when they graduate =(

so yesterday i left lab in tears. i'm so sick of things not working. i can't believe that i'm more stressed out now than during the school year, which doesn't make sense at all.

today i got into a fight and knocked two guys out and that's why there are band-aids all over my knuckles.

ok, that didn't really happen, but man, lol i kinda wish it did

what really happened was that this morning i was flipping through my lab notebook, and all of a sudden, i get simultaneously paper-cutted by like 10 pages. so instead of getting one tiny paper cut, i got this huge scrape that kept on bleeding and wouldn't stop. hence, band-aid number one. then, later in the day, i was washing my hands, and when my hand hit the towel dispenser, i got another huge scrape. hence, band-aid number two.

other than that, life is relatively calm right now...i feel like a grad student! seriously, i go to lab in the mornings around 8, leave for an hour for my volleyball class at 11, and then get back to the dorm anywhere between 6-8 pm. and then when i get back to the dorm i sleep. ok well no, i guess i don't sleep. i sit at my desk and read science papers or textbooks. HAHA. oh, i got addicted onto lost though. such a good show! i need to watch the first season though.

it's actually almost fun, minus the stress of things not working sometimes, and not getting to hang out that often. but once you get over that, it's not so bad at all, cuz you're actually researching stuff and learning stuff that you really actually like.

um, what else has happened this IAP. oh, we watched some movies. munich, that was a good movie. hmmm, went out to eat at pour house for the SECOND time ever. hahaha i think even the freshmen have all been to pour house more often than i have.

oh! and sid apparently is coming up to boston for some high class interview. yaaaaay.

i've recently realized that college (or maybe just MIT) has made me a different person. yea, it definitely toughened me up, and i've learned so much from being here. i have more control over my emotions now. i'm calmer. of course, this also means that i've become...colder, so to say. i no longer value being "social" as something that everyone must do. i no longer yearn to constantly interact and meet new people, although i have to admit that it is enjoyable when it does happen. i no longer crave the company of others. i no longer care that much about what others think of me.

now i believe in solitude. i believe that solitude and loneliness are two completely different states of being.

i believe more strongly in the pursuit of knowledge for knowledge itself (conocimiento por conocimiento).

i believe in understanding myself.

i believe in family.

i believe in cups of coffee and reading the news in the early morning hours when no one else is awake, and there is complete silence.

i believe in friendship.


but i no longer believe in love.

y esto es lo que yo he aprendido.