The past few months haven't been bad - the weather has been relatively nice here at school and I've kept busy but a lot less busier than usual - which is nice. I guess instead of spending 2/3 of my time at lab and 1/3 of my time at the dorm, I've been spending about maybe 1/3 of the time at the dorm, 1/3 (or less) of my time at lab, and 1/3 of my time, well, elsewhere. Things are going so far so good (knock on wood...!), and I hope I don't screw anything up. I always screw things up when they shouldn't.

Sometimes I walk from building 1 to building 4 and just stand in the center of Killian Court and stare up at the big dome. It's a weird feeling. I stand there and stare at it because it just still doesn't hit me that I go to this school. Like, I'm right here, I go to this school, and I see the name every day, but it just doesn't hit me. So I stare at the dome (the hallmark of our school) and I try to tell myself that yea, I go here. But it doesn't sink in. And I'm leaving this school in only a semester and a half. Maybe it'll take up to graduation for it to sink in. Maybe it'll be after that.

Graduating soon really makes you think about the place you've been at for the last three years and it makes you notice things a lot more. Like when I walk past people in the hallway. I wonder about who they are, what their pasts are like. What they think. What their stories are. There's a yearning to want to know everything, but it's not possible.

How much about a person can you possibly know? How can you ever completely trust anyone? Is it possible to trust someone without knowing about their past? Does the past even matter? How much would I want to know about the past before I got hurt? People tell me their secrets and it's interesting to me to know about those, because that lets me understand them better. Sometimes it hurts me a lot to know that about a certain person, but deep down, I know that it's for the better and that it's necessary. Maybe it's worth it. Maybe it isn't. I'm scared of doing certain things for fear of hurting others, but at the same time, I'm scared of them hurting me as well.

Man, I hope I don't screw up...!