u know what, i am fucking sick of always being the one overlooked..always the one who can never satisfy others...always being the one who is regarded as a fucking piece of filth....as if i don't even try. well i tell u what, hell i try..i work my ass off in trying. i get sick for two weeks straight due to sleep deprivation from all the fucking trying. and all that happens is that not even one word of praise comes to me for all the trying that i do. ..how i have survived so long, i don't know. all this kind of discouragement toward a child is inevitably a direct path toward depression and eventually suicide. it's not my fault that my mom can never see any good in me. it's not my fault that she can only concentrate all her fucking efforts on her fucking little crown jewel, otherwise known as my brother. it's not my fault that i'm not fucking antisocial like him, which is apparently what she prefers. perhaps a deadly disease will strike me dead before i go off to college so that she can then save thousands of dollars per year and use that on my brother instead. perhaps that is the only way i can satisfy her.