NOTE: this post is NOT, in ANY way, referring to any events that are currently happening in my life rite now. soo just letting yall know, i'm not venting or anything, this is simply my reflections on a certain quote that i saw. so don't take this post personally or anything ,okkies??...^_^


"Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person."

(courtesy of thida's blog, courtesy of dustin's profile)

i couldn't agree more. we ARE human after all aren't we? and if we were always perfect, we wouldn't be humans. we'd be like angels or something.

WHY and HOW did we get so competitive for those grades? it used to be just where you could take a class for the sake of LEARNING, not for knowing how to get that 89.5 that will bring you up to a 90. and not for playing the whole GPA game just so you can be number one. and not for bringing complaints against the school board against the person who is currently ranked #1, just so that they can be bumped down to #2, and that you can be #1 (btw...clements ppl...sorrie if this offends anyone, it isn't really meant to, but i think most of yall know EXACTLY who and what i am talking about)

i used to think (for those of you who know me through school) that i always had to be at the top. not perfect, quizás, but at least striving towards it. what a joke.

u know, i always hated that, although i always tried not to show it. i didn't want to be perfect...even now i can't understand why anyone would want to be perfect. why would you want to alienate yourself that way? ..or mebbe it's not a matter of alienation - i suppose it also depends on how you want OTHERS to perceive you. mebbe one type of person will WANT that type of social alienation, mebbe another type won't. but seriously..come on yall, i know yall are just teasing most of the time, but who likes it when someone comes up to them and says something like "ohh, you didn't get a 100???.maan, what HAPPENED?"..or something along those lines...i suppose that would offend some people..personally, i find it amusing...1)b/c i know they're not completely serious, and it's good comic relief and 2) b/c i like to entertain myself with the thought that if you really do think that someone can get perfect 100s on every test, grade, quiz, assignment, then you are living in your own little fantasyland. hurrah for you. (lol..j/k about #2, i don't know anyone like that, but the thought is just entertaining)

but then....maybe that striving for perfectionism is just a side effect of the impetus of learning...mebbbe it's not perfectionism of GRADES, but rather perfectionism of KNOWLEDGE....

you know, i was walking down through the main hallway before 1st period one morning, and i realized...i really hate high school. i really do. all the stereotypes, all the unacceptance, all the pointless work in some classes. i don't know what college will be like, mebbe there will be even MORE stereotypes et al., but whatever. at least college campuses are bigger. like christine said about UT, "it's so big that if you don't wanna see someone there, then you won't see them"

so in conclusion (not really..i just need to get back to studying), this year i've discovered that..wow, i really AM more happy this year..yes, my stress level has shot up about 200%, but overall, i'm waay happier. currently loving my life as hectic as it is!!!(i don't think i've ever said that before..............)


but whatever...la suerte está echada, y lo que pasará es simplamente por los deseos de él que controla nuestra suerte. todas las cosas ocurren por una razón, (and it REALLY DOES)... nos vemos, compadres......