yes, anu, it iS pretty damn ironic, isn't it??..HAHAH....so i guess part of the "confusion" hasn't been cleared up.. who knows...it may never be cleared up..after all, i do have tendency to go after (for lack of better words) those who are "unavailable"...i guess i couldn't help it. u can't help what you feel. you may hide it, but you can never sit there and tell yourself that it just isn't going to work out, so u better stop dreaming and start facing reality. it really is quite sad though. i didn't come here expecting that it would end up like this. ..knowing the circumstances, i don't want to. i tell myself that i can't, that it's not right, that it would just end up in the worst possible way for everyone. but yet at the same time, something is just here. i don't know what it is or where it came from. it sure as hell isn't looks (no offense), and not exactly personality either. sarcasm? wit? intelligence? cocky? there are all things that we all want sometimes, but we cannot obtain them all, most of all what we want the most, yet know that we cannot have.