i've been getting really pissed off lately at various things...little things too.....yall prolly haven't noticed it at all, because i don't show it when i get pissed off, and plus there's always plenty of ppl/things to make me laugh and ferget temporarily about it....i just randomly explode at random ppl who i don't intentionally direct it towards.....and for once , the thing(s) that are getting on my nerves are NOT because of my family...i think i only blew up at one person this week...soooorie, it wasn't supposed to be directed towards real (and that's NOT a "forced" apology!!..haha)


i guess i've been feeling really apathetic lately. or maybe not apathetic, but...resigned?..iuno, that's not the correct word either. i think i've been reading "the stranger" too much, but hey what can i say, i like that book...i've thought about it, and meursault isn't really apathetic i guess....i think he's more perceptive than all the rest of the little buggers in the world around him...maybe that's what pissed me off....the magistrate and the chaplain trying to get him to believe in God just to "save his soul", when, given meursault's point of view, it really doesn't even matter. and hey, i think that's acceptable. meursault is content, and at peace with himself. and what else matters then?

from christine's blog:
everyone needs to read "the stranger" by camus.
its so honest.
i think in away we all feel like that deep down inside.
only people are to conformed to society's rights and wrongs to admit it.
i think its ingenious.
how many people even take the time to consider the truth in his words?
things matter too much nowadays.
we're all afraid to accept the fact that sometimes,
it just doen'st make a difference.

whats all the fuss about anyway.


amen to that. christine is EXACTLY right.




i guess that book deals a bit with religion too. i see all these ppl around me who are so religious (or at least appear so to me) and honestly, i admire yall a LOT. it's pretty amazing. it's something i'll never be able to be. but on the other hand, i'm not worried about it. i don't know, it's hard to explain. it's like a feeling of "oh well" for me. somethign like that.


i want to go visit jireh again. maybe i'll start going there regularly. it was actually really meaningful to me, and the ppl there are pretty awesome too.


jess's baptism is tomorrow!!!!...so excited for her!!!!


alrite enough of my random thoughts. i'll let yall stew on those.